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The days have come and gone…and very quickly. I am now in the Prague airport (but I can’t find wireless so this will be sent later), returning from my trip to the states. I am not sure what to think. I am happy to return to my city and the work and routine I have there. But at the same time I am sad to be leaving the states. Its not the American comforts that I miss or the ease of life there, but the quality of my friendships there. Throughout my 8 ½ hour flight from NYC to Prague I tried to process my emotions (while fading in and out of sleep). Why was I feeling this way?

I don’t think I came to any solid conclusions, but realized I am getting older and am ready to have a bit of stability in my life - whether that be in the states or overseas I don’t know. I am ready to be married and have kids. I am ready to stick with one career that doesn’t change every few years. I am ready to stay in one place and develop deep friendships…and for those friends to stay where I am.

But for some reason God keeps telling me, “I am all you need.” Again and again I try to find my stability, my comfort, my strength, my happiness in myself and in others. Its not there. Even if I was married, even if I lived in the states, even if I had the same job for 10 years, I would not be happy. Only by His strength will I be happy, will I be content, will I be strong.

Every time I find myself depending on people to satisfy me I am not happy.
Yes, it is true that my friendships in the states are much deeper and stronger and mature than my friendships in the Balkans (especially since my closest friend from here is now in America.) That is what I am dwelling on today. But this does not matter because my friendship with my Lord Jesus Christ is stronger than any other, and that is all I need. Its only common sense that my friendships in my new city are not as strong as those I have had for many years.